Coaching for Perfectionism
Perfectionism, always chasing after being flawlessly awesome,
is something us HSPs try too hard to achieve in our daily lives.
We often think that if everything is perfect, we'll feel happy and successful. But the truth is, it's not as great as it seems (or even attainable!)
Perfectionism can be a real pain that just adds stress, worry, overthinking, and insecurity to our already overwhelmed, sensitive brains.
The Myth of Perfection
Perfectionism is a total fake-out (except on Instagram....lol).
It's like this crazy high standard that we can never actually hit, which just leaves us feeling bummed out about ourselves and our accomplishments all the time.
It's this never-ending struggle of constantly comparing ourselves to others (especially non-HSPs), being super hard on ourselves, and freaking out about failing. And you know what?
Trying to be perfect can actually robs us of living a full life and that's just sad.
The Cost of Being a Perfectionist
While striving for excellence can be a positive trait, perfectionism takes it to an extreme level. Here are some ways in which perfectionism can really take a toll:
Anxiety and Stress
Constantly aiming for perfection can lead to high levels of anxiety and stress, as the fear of not meeting unrealistic standards looms over us.
Being Too Hard on Ourselves
Perfectionists, especially highly sensitive ones, have a tendency to be their own worst critics. Every little mistake or failure becomes a chance to beat ourselves up.
Putting off Tasks
The fear of not getting things done perfectly can seriously affect how much we actually get accomplished. We often end up procrastinating and completely avoiding tasks just to avoid the possible disappointment of not doing it exactly right.
Feeling Crummy About Ourselves
Perfectionism can really mess with our self-confidence. When we don't meet our own impossibly high standards, it make's us feel like losers and that just plain hurts.
So, um yeah, being a perfectionist is a real challenge.
Embracing Imperfection
Instead of chasing an unattainable goal, what if we chose to embrace imperfection? (Like my girl, Brene Brown!)
Embracing imperfection isn't about being okay with being just "meh," it's more like knowing that messing up or having flaws is totally normal and everyone does it.
Here's how embracing imperfection can help you calm down and chill out:
Self-Compassion
Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a bestie. Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes, everyone. Let me say that again, everyone. (Even Taylor Swift!)
Learn from Failures
Instead of looking at it from the perspective of "what went wrong" look at it as "ok, what can I learn from this" or "what was the lesson here" or my personal favorite "what will I (hopefully) not do again?"
Enjoy the Journey
Let go of the need for everything to be perfect, and enjoy the process rather than obsessing over the end result. Obsessing over it likely won't change the outcome anyway so you just wasted all that time and energy for nothing.
Breaking Free from Perfectionism
Getting rid of perfectionism is a journey that starts with self-awareness and self-compassion. Here are some steps you can take:
Challenge Perfectionist Thoughts
Talk back to your perfectionist thoughts! Call them out and question them. Where do they even come from? Is it your voice or someone else's?
Even if you don't have the answers to those questions, challenge yourself to replace the negative thought with a neutral thought, eventually working your way up to replacing the neutral thought with a positive thought.
Practice Mindfulness
Be present and in the moment. Don't waste time ruminating (a fancy way to say overthinking) about past mistakes or worrying about possible future mistakes.
If you take anything from this blog post, please remember: we can't change the past and we can't control the future so why give it so much of our present time?
Celebrate Small Wins
Even small achievements are worth acknowledging. Focus on progress instead of fixating on perfection.
Did you only stumble three times while trying to give a presentation? Great, let's look at that as progress from the last presentation when you stumbled four times.
Every little achievement should be acknowledged. Get into the habit of looking for small steps you made to give yourself credit for.
Comments